I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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