taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
