i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
