soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
