he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
