Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
