I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you made out with another girl for some wings
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
