Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
