I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
