Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
