Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
