come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
