Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
