): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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