I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I checked into jail on foursquare
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
