I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize