I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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