that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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