No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
