i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
