"it" just moved
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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