To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
