For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
