I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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