we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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