Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
