Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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