guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
