Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
