so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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