An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
