Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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