The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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