You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize