My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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