Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize