I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
