before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I lost the right to judge tonight
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
