I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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