i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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