Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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