Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
