So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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