I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
