ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize