it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
