im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
