According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
