I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
