batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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