Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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