dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
