I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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