She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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