i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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