After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's official drugs can't kill me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize