I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
