bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
