My room smells like vodka and shame
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
